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Through my struggles, I have learned that my reality is the reality of so many others as well. It is not something many talk about. My question is...WHY? Why must we struggle alone?
Many know that my husband and I have had challenges along the way to add a little mini to our family. For those who don't know my story, we were pregnant with triplets (naturally) in 2013 and tragically lost the pregnancy shortly after finding out God had blessed us with not one but three little angels. I was lost not only because of losing the children God had blessed me with through pregnancy, but also my hope in achieving our desire to be parents.
We had been trying for 6 months when I finally saw that perfect little pink line saying I was pregnant. I was so excited. The month before, I had prayed to God to just let me know that we could become pregnant and that we would be parents. God answered my prayer.
Fast forward, we find out God had not only blessed us with one child, but three. My husband laughed and I cried. I knew the health challenges that could face us and our little ones with such a high risk pregnancy. At our high risk appointment we were with the doctor and learned baby C had no heart rate. Baby C.. No hear beat. Baby A...No heart beat. Baby B...No heart beat. Each were fine a week earlier. I have always only wanted one child. With each assessment, I just kept hoping at least one would be okay. When I was told none of them had a heart beat any longer, my heart sank.
I took it as God answering my prayer but also it was his way of telling me, "Yes, you will be a mother, but in MY time. Not Yet." I was sad. I was angry. I was hopeless!
So here we are, a couple years later. Still trying. We are now seeking the help of a fertility specialist. I have hope again. I am working on becoming healthier. Drinking more water, eating my veggies, and maybe even losing a little weight. Healthy mom will hopefully = healthy baby or babies (if I am blessed with multiples again). The coming months will hopefully bring happy news to our reality.
Helping moms find health and happiness as we manage the chaotic lives we are blessed with. It's ok to embrace the chaos and move past the "perfection" we want to portray.
